Build a Bear Trip!

The Mommy group that sent me the necklace for Sweet Pea also sent a spa gift certificate for me, a Build a Bear gift card and book called "We Were Going to Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead" for Brooks. They are so incredibly thoughtful!

Tonight we went to Build A Bear. Brooks was very excited and the trip combined his two favorite things; dinosaurs and football. He named his T-Rex Oscar because he wanted it to have a name that started with O. He also bought a mini footbal and field goal so Oscar could practice his kicks. :-)

Those of you that have been to BAB know this, but before they stitch the bear shut you put in a little stuffed heart. Well, I told Brooks while he was waiting that the mommies and kids that sent him this special gift did so because we were going to miss the baby. I told him it would be neat to put in two hearts, one for him and one for the baby. He LOVED that idea and was excited to do it. Bless the BAB worker's heart. She said, "Oh, you want to put in two." And Brooks told her one for him and one for his baby. She said, "Oh, do you have a baby at home?" I immediately froze. Crap! And Brooks calmly said, "No our baby is in heaven with Jesus." I was so proud of him, but I did feel really bad for the girl because she of course didn't know what to say.

Just a small reminder that there will always be everyday reminders of what could have been. Luckily I am not seeing many people that don't know about our loss anymore. I did see one lady this week at Old Navy who just started going on and on about how I wasn't even showing. I tried to cut her off, but it is hard because you don't want to make them feel like an idiot, but you can't not say anything. There just isn't a good way to handle something like that.

Here are some pics of Brooks at BAB