I went in to pick up something for lunch at Moe's because anytime the boys eat McDonalds, I eat Moe's since it is right next door and McDonalds makes me want to gag.
I walked in, turned and saw the shirt. I knew the minute I saw the beading at the top it was the same one. I had bought the exact maternity shirt just a month ago. I LOVED the shirt and thought that since this would be my last pregnancy I deserved to get it. It looked odd to me to see "her" wearing it. That was supposed to be my maternity shirt. It was going to show off my belly that everyone would coo and ahh over. Not hers. . . mine!
I saw her sillhoutte walk by with the round plump tummy. I then looked down at my deflated tummy and the wave hit. Any of you that have lost someone close to you will know what the wave is. It is a point when a rush of emotions, memories, stories, joys, etc. comes to you in one big wave. It reminds me of a panic attack, except it is more of like a grieving attack. However, the symptoms are very similar. . .shortness of breath, frozen in fear, possibly anger, severe sadness. Well I was definitely having a "grieving attack". Luckily I just pretended to be staring and the menu on the wall, plus looking up helps to keep the tears in.
By the time I ordered I was okay. I thought I might wear that shirt someday and hopefully it wouldn't cause a panic attack for a grieving mother.
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2 comments:
I have definately had the "wave" several times since my dad's passing.
Oh Meg...still praying for you guys. I think you are such a strong woman for doing this blog. You never know who you might help one day through your story. Hugs to you...
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