One of these things is not like the other. . .

I can remember watching all the couples walk out of the perinatologist office with multiple pictures of their babies and smiles on their faces. The receptionist would ask when they needed to reschedule for and they would look at each other and come up with a mutual time that worked for both of them to come back. And then they went about their day.

As the room cleared out and we were the only ones left Josh leaned over to me and said do you think they are keeping us as the last appt. before lunch so that we have as much time as needed. Hmmm. . .interesting thought. (Bad sign #1)

So we went back and had out appt. with the doctor which I talked about in an earlier post. Afterwards they ushered us to a conference room and asked if we would like anything to drink. (Bad sign #2) The nurse practioner said she would give us sometime to just be together while she made the necessary calls. She needed to call other doctor's offices to see about availability. When she cam back in she hand us a book about losing you baby in utero or shortly after birth. (Bad sign #3) She also gave us two pamphlets on infant hospice centers in the area. (Bad sign #4). After some more paperwork we were on our way with our "goodies". We didn't get to walk out with smiles on our faces and ultrasound pictures in hand. Nope, we walked out with all our infant loss materials. As we walked past the desk I started to ask if they need anything else from us (meaning payment, scheduling) and she practically cut me off saying we were good to go. I wonder if my eyes being practically swollen shut from crying gave it away? (insert sarcasm)

We got in the car and drove. I honestly can't even remember where we went next. I remember saying something about Josh still needing wrinkle release for his work pants (as if that was a priority), so we went and walked around Target like zombies picking up just some wrinkle release. After that we ate some lunch and tried to act as normal as possible. Luckily we were still in the shock phase and had no idea that the “perfect storm” was brewing and would hit in the next couple of days.